6w1d

We had our first ultrasound for E2 today, at 6w1d.  The little bean is looking great, and we could see its heartbeat flashing.  I'll go back to the RE one more time in two weeks for an ultrasound at 8w, and if all still looks good, then I graduate to the midwife.

Today, I also made my first midwife appointment (November 18), as well as the NT scan (December 8) and anatomy scan (January 26).  With Monkey, I found that by the time I made it into the midwife, around 10w, it was hard to get the NT scan scheduled for 11-13w, and it was even hard to find availability for the anatomy scan.  I guess the MCH units around us are pretty busy.  So, I hope it doesn't jinx anything, but the appointments are made.  Of course, I've been an IFer long enough to know that making a ticker or an appointment aren't going to cause a miscarriage...but I can't stop the magical thinking.

I was looking back at my blog posts around this time for Monkey, and they are disappointingly missing any detail of my symptoms.  I think I was trying to not complain, but I wish I'd documented more.

I think what I'm feeling now is pretty similar to last time--I'm feeling pretty nauseous often.  More often than not, I feel sick later in the day, rather than right away in the morning.  If I learned anything last time, it's that I should not let my stomach be empty...so, I try to snack regularly throughout the day, eating crackers, cereal, etc.    I also learned that even when I feel sick and not hungry, that I should eat, and that usually, this will make me feel better.

So far, that seems to be moderately helping.  The evenings are tough though.  It's all I can do to in the evenings toget Monkey fed, play with him, get him to bed, and do something simple like empty the dishwasher.  J's been cooking dinner, so that's helpful.

I've also been fall asleep around 9, sleeping till around 6 or 7, depending on when Monkey first starts stirring.  So I guess I'd also say that I'm experiencing the pregnancy fatigue.  The other night, J was drinking scotch, and the smell was just awful...so also, the pregnancy nose is in effect.  Every once in awhile, I'll experience short moments of breast tenderness, but so far, nothing major here.  And I'm still in my post-weaning bras, a size down from when I was pregnant and nursing Monkey. No weight gain yet, and all my clothes still fit.  I want to get my maternity clothes out of the attic, though, because I have a shirt I used with Monkey for all my belly shots, and I want to use the same one with E2, and I started at 6w for Monkey, so I guess it's time to start documenting!

Oh, and I think I'm also a little more emotional.  I was listening to an NPR story about a country star, and that made me nostalgic for the country music I used to listen to (before 9/11...after which, I felt country music got to God-y and violent for my tastes...and so I reverted full-time to my other musical preference for alternative/rock).  I still have Dixie Chicks on my iPod, so I cued it up, and then before I knew it, I was teary eyed.  I don't know if its the nostalgia of the time when I used to listen to country music, or the fact that I think I've always liked country music more--it's music you can really sing to, something I never do for alternative/rock...or the lyrics...or pregnancy hormones...but, well, there you have it.

I was pretty hopeful that everything was okay today, as I'd definitely been experiencing an increase in symptoms.  But of course, we know all too well all that can go wrong.  I kept saying, "I hope it's still alive."  I don't know if that was my way of preparing myself that I might not be pregnant, or more magical thinking that if I wasn't counting on it being alive that it would be...but it's the same way I was with Monkey...I think I will always be like that, as an IFer.

Although, while it took IVF to get us here, again, I still feel like it was so easy.  One cycle, that was covered by insurance, and here we are, pregnant again, on an ideal timeline.  Here I am, an IFer who timed her pregnancy!  I wanted similar timing to Monkey, to have a second when he turned 2, to have maternity leave over the summer again...and that's what we've got...at least for now.

For me, IVF now is easy.  Sure, it's a hassle, but it's covered by insurance, we know it can work, we know the steps, and it's got a 50/50 chance.  And it worked, the first try, again.  It feels too easy...but we're happy with that, obviously!