Reproductive Rights and Choice

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Infertility has done nothing if not strengthen my pro-choice beliefs.

I won't repeat Mel's excellent post about Mississippi's personhood legislation, but I wholeheartedly agree with her: 
"I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: reproductive rights are reproductive rights, and if you want the freedom to choose whether or not you have access to fertility treatments, you need to support other reproductive rights.  Legal wranglings are not a pu-pu platter where you can say hands-off my embryos and making decisions for me about their creation and storage but then leave women who want to choose whether or not they carry a child back on the plate.  Either your government’s hands are in your uterus or they’re not.  And frankly, the only hands I want near my uterus are the ones attached to my RE who is making decisions in regards to my reproductive (and emotional) health by tailoring those decisions to my own unique situation.  The only people I want making decisions that affect my body are my doctor and myself — and my body extends to people I create with my body."


We have 3 embryos on ice.  I'm currently 7w5d pregnant with something that is still an embryo and not quite yet a fetus.  I've already seen its heartbeat, and I want it to thrive, obviously, as an IVF patient. And I'm still pro-choice.

I want the freedom to do what I need to do for my body and for my family.  If this embryo threatens my life, and the life of our family, I want abortion to be an option.  This embryo wouldn't exist if IVF wasn't an option, and if my RE couldn't have created it, and the other 3 on ice, in a lab.  Clearly, I support IF treatment.

And if this embryo makes it to become a live baby, then I want the freedom to choose what to do with those 3 embryos on ice.  We froze them because we want the option.  We know there are no guarantees, and we want the option to try again, should we need to.  But we also know our family is done with two children, meaning that if this embryo in me makes it, those other 3 will be donated to research.  And I want to be able to make that decision.

We had the freedom to decide to put back only 1 embryo because we didn't want the risk of HOM.  We wouldn't have wanted to be forced to use all 4 embryos at once.  That wouldn't be medically advisable.

As an IFer, I know all too well that a fertilized egg does not make a pregnancy.  Remember implantation?  That fertilized egg has to implant in the uterine lining.  Fertilization + implantation = pregnancy.  But wait, pregnancy also does not equal a live baby.

Granting personhood to embryos doesn't make sense.  Medically, an embryo alone cannot be sustained as a pregnancy without my body.

Right now, I've got a little parasite growing within me.  I took active steps to get this little parasite, and I want it to thrive. It's not a person, not yet.  It can become a person, but it isn't a person yet.  I get more rights than it, and if I decide it's safer, healthier, better, whatever, for my family to not carry forward with this pregnancy, I want this option.

And I wouldn't even be here, pregnant, without these rights.  Personhood threatens IF rights...you can be pro-life for yourself and not choose abortion, but IFers, please, at least you of all people, realize that reproductive rights are important for all of us.  Don't choose abortion if you don't want to.  Don't choose IVF if you don't want to.  But let others make that choice for themselves, too.  Pro-choice isn't pro-abortion, it's pro-CHOICE...the choice is what's important, and that choice is far too personal to be legislated.

Being IF has only reinforced my pro-choice stance.  Yes, when we tell Monkey what's in my "tummy," we say "baby."  Because we can barely get him, as a 17-month old, to understand that concept.  We're using age-appropriate terms.  He can say "baby."  He can point to my "tummy."  "Uterus" and "fetus," not so much.  But that doesn't change what's inside me--it just means we're being age-appropriate.

This MS legislation isn't the first of its kind, and it won't be the last.  But we need to recognize the wide-reaching impact it has on our lives, all of our lives.  We're not talking about just abortion and IVF, either.  This would also have an effect on birth control, like the pill, IUD, and emergency contraception.

Family planning affects all of us...okay, well at least those of us having sex with the opposite sex, or with those of us pursuing IF treatment.  And for that reason, we need to stand up for reproductive rights.  You can't limit abortion without limiting other civil rights.  It's important.  And it's an issue politicians are going to continue to use to mobilize and motivate the conservative voters...because it works.

But we need to use this kind of legislation to motivate us, as well.  Consider the pro-CHOICE stance, and it's emphasis on CHOICE.  These politicians aren't thinking about how this kind of legislation can affect family planning and IF treatment--they are targeting abortion.  But the effects are wide and damaging.  And that should matter to you.